On Doubt & Cucmber

Screenshot from http://www.urbandictionary.com

A reputable reference on the hermeneutic definition of words, Urban Dictionary outstandingly and accurately defines the concept of doubt as “A nun doing situps in a cucmber field.”

Anonymous


Despite an egregious spelling of the word cucumber, user JoeMama has arguably accomplished the impossible and achieved a revolutionary feat in capturing the essence of the notion, mayhaps in what could arguably be the most involuntary groundbreaking revelation of the English language since Buzzfeed told us that the word “literally”, literally did not mean what we all thought.

This unusual conceptualization of our subject matter bears a surprising amount of importance in what it entails. Indeed, in the next few articles of this issue, you will be confronted with a variety of definitions, perceptions, and impressions of what “doubt” embodies for the average person. Respectively, each explanation will adopt a singular, individual assessment of which contexts are prone to incur a feeling of doubt; whether it be through perceptions of uncertainty, hesitation, or even suspicion.

What our dear, misunderstood literary genius JoeMama has done in this case surpasses all else when it comes to the summation of possible interpretations of the idea.

This phenomenon innocently takes place during the opposition of our dumbstruck reader to the radically enlightening sentence. Initially, he is confronted with a sentiment of uncertainty, provoked by a mix of surprise and confusion at such an unexpected definition. As he engages in a stupefied double-take, hesitation closely ensues in the form of interrogation as to the adequacy of such a phrase in context. Finally, suspicion, manifested as an aspect of self-preservation, is activated in reaction to the initially implicit yet obtuse and flagrant (albeit fantastic) attempt at vulgarity.

No one can pretend to be able to explain the gist of this nuanced and delicate concept in a single word.

And yet, in the breath of one heavily connotated sexual vulgarity, linguistic wonder JoeMama has arguably come very close to conveying the meaning of doubt,

though not necessarily through providing a traditional definition, as expected. Rather, he achieves this by invoking the exact multi-layered feeling of doubt in the hearts and minds of his readers.
So, next time you think you are sure of the meaning of a word or ostensibly certain of your facts, think back to the pious, veiled elderly woman, shredding her ripped abs in the midst of the cucmber field and remember that whether it be positive or negative, doubt is everywhere.

Even in the definition of doubt.

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