Raining in Paradise?

Leaks show Menton has most terror suspects; Increased readiness to violence

New leaks reveal the NSA’s even more aggressive data collection. Everybody is suspect. Yet, there is a place with the highest number of suspects in Europe: Menton is in focus of counter-terrorism.
Our reporter Knut Knuffig went to the SciencesPo IT Department in Paris to find out, what is suspicious about Menton’s data traffic.

By Knut Knuffig

What Mass Surveillance? Washington DC,  October 2013. By Elvert Barnes

What Mass Surveillance? Washington DC, October 2013. By Elvert Barnes

All internet traffic is watched by the SciencesPo Authorities, as you can see with the little “You are logged in as knut.knuffig@sciencespo.fr” while procrastinating on youtube. Our anonymous security expert in Paris confirms: “Most students don’t know that 80% of their online activity is monitored.”
The expert explains the long way that identified Menton as nest of political violence and terror. All suspicion started on youtube: “Menton has the highest internet traffic of leftist Italian partisan songs, such as Bella Ciao and other extremist material.” According to him the SciencesPo IT Department became aware of political extremism in Menton. The suspicions got worse quickly.

Especially during the end of the year, users spent over 150,000 hours watching djihadist terror videos. Funnily, all users used similar searches to cover up their real agenda. Most searched for “Arab political thought djihadism” or “Ibn Khaldoun versus Al Baghdadi who wins” and other such simple attempts to hide their thirst for blood and violence against the west.

But towards the end of last year another mass phenomenon raised Parisien IT experts’ suspicion: In May 2014 a large group of identified suspects from Menton went together to LeHavre. Tapped phone records show young men and women screaming “Yallah Yallah whoop whoop”, where “yallah” is an extremely violent battle call in a Middle Eastern language. Secondary reports confirm a large movement of suspects under the slogan “ColléJihad”, clear indication of a violent agenda. Our insider sources are equally sure, there must be a jihadist training camp in LeHavre. “The french police investigates, EUROPOL and the NSA have been informed and collaborate closely”, we are assured.

Yet, the two most alarming results of increased online surveillance in Menton are to come. Within the group of suspects there appears to be an even more violent, absolutely clandestine group, calling themselves “Al Jaish”. The group changes members frequently, yet remains to be illusive, perhaps due to its well staged video messages and its eloquent leaders. There is serious evidence that this group might be able to produce highly enriched nicotine and other toxic substances with explosives.

This fear is leading EUROPOL now to consider immediate action. In the last months, purchases of material to produce bombs increased worryingly: High-pressure glass containers, combined with an iron shaft, for loading the device with toxic and artificially treated nicotine and control pipes to adjust combustion. There might be around 40 of these highly explosive devices, in Menton code named Shisha or Hooka.
All these signs indicate preparations for a terrorist attack without comparison in the near future.

However, the IT leak admits, there is also space for hope. Apparently, the long term surveillance of Menton suspects has shown that these potential terrorists are getting increasingly stupid. According to the source, the most common Google searches were “How to clean sink full of vomit”, “How long is Rue Longue”,  and “Closest Carrefour to here”.



This is a satire article. All facts are fictional.
By Christoph Trost

Christoph Trost

Christoph Trost, is a socially unrested German, who also happens to be a social media ‘Infographic Guru.’ Just like the famous Sherlock Holmes, he stumbles upon random pieces of evidence that lead to the intricately colorful and organized graphs and charts that his stories accompany. Looking for a new plot twist?, Christoph is the journalist to go to.
Christoph Trost

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